To Be Seen
September 2025
Twenty years ago, I moved into a rental home as I started a new chapter in my life. I took just a few items from my old home. I “designed on a dime” gathering furniture from thrift stores and garage sales, cleaning the furniture and painting it – lots of furniture painting. I bought that home after two years of renting it and have been working on it ever since. Slowly replacing some of my “design on a dime” furnishings with pieces that reflected who I was becoming. Renovating bathrooms, creating beautiful gardens and collecting art pieces that had meaning for me. This summer I put the finishing touches on my home with a screened in porch designed by me with furniture that I love. It was time to share my home.
So, I invited a very special group of women friends to my home for happy hour. These are women I volunteer with at a resale shop for the Delaware Breast Cancer Coalition. We are a team that has been together for over 10 years, sharing life’s ups and downs. It was the first time I had opened up my home to people outside of my family in several years. As I prepared, cleaning the house, putting away the clutter (lots of it), arranging flowers, lighting candles, setting out glasses, plates and silverware, wondering if everything looked “good enough”, I realized how vulnerable it felt. My home is more than walls and furniture; it carries pieces of my story, my taste, my messiness, my quiet spots. To open that space is to say, this is me.
When the women arrived, there were hugs all around, laughter and lots of conversation. I made my special cocktail for anyone who wanted to indulge and we filled the table with good food. They noticed little details, asked about the art I have collected and created, and lingered in the kitchen where I always feel most myself. What surprised me was not their kindness, I knew that already, but the way their presence reflected something back to me. In welcoming them, I felt welcomed. I loved sharing my home.
That night wasn’t just about sharing food or space. It was about being seen. For the life I have built, over many years and many challenges, and for the person who I am. Being truly seen, while vulnerable, brought me even closer to these women. And I felt very happy. I am trying to hold on to that feeling for as long as I can.